Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Princess Particular rules the world... and other disasters.

       We bought a new, 100 year old house named The Money Pit. We have grand plans for this house, and are determined to make them happen,  just as soon as we have the money. You know, the extra money that is readily available when you have 2.5 kids, a 14 year old car, and a brand spanking new mortgage that they expect you to pay every month. One addition to the Money Pit is the most beautiful dining room table that I absolutely love. It is a 10 seater pub height table that makes me feel as though I can have important fancy dinner parties and be the best hostess on the planet. I'll update you if this ever actually happens.
     The giant, beautiful table is what inspired MY idea for Princess Particular's 6th birthday party; I saw a fancy tea party, with pink sparkles from floor to ceiling, flowers and balloons as far as the eye could see, and little ladies giggling over pink tea, decked out in princess dresses, probably with tiaras. Also, adorable giant pink frosty cupcakes, hand decorated by me with LOVE. It was the 6 year old birthday party of my freaking dreams. I hadn't taken into account, however, that Princess Particular has been formulating her own ideas as well.

                                             ...What? Too Much?              

The Birthday Party Conversation From Hell goes something like this...

Me- "So, I've been thinking about your birthday party a lot.."
PP- " Me TOO, this is what I need you to do. I want a Halloween birthday party. I want SPIDERS. I want TRICK-OR-TREATING. I want everyone in costume."
Me- "Ummm. Spiders? Halloween? Princess Particular, your birthday is in April."
PP- "That's not all Mom, I want red, white and blue balloons, just like the Grand Old Flag song, and red plates for the girls and blue plates for the boys. Also, I have designed an Ariel birthday cake for you to make for the party" (she hands me full color cake blueprints)
Me- (at this point I'm thinking, "WTF?? Boys? Red, white and freaking blue at the HALLOWEEN birthday party in APRIL? I did an Ariel cake, twice. No. No. NO.")

                                  Holy balls. Where did my sweet little girl go?                                            

but I actually say...

"Well honey, um it might be a little hard for Mommy to find Halloween decorations in April, and I don't know how we will organize trick-or-treating... um and red white and blue doesn't actually go with a Halloween theme."

Then comes The Guilt.

PP- "Mommy, why don't you like my birthday party idea? I think it will be the most amazing fun birthday ever... why don't you?"
Me- (inner monologue- "FACK. I am a terrible. HORRIBLE. person.") "Oh Princess Particular, I love your ideas. I will do my best to make your birthday party excatly what you want it to be."

She then threw me a skeptical look and started compiling her guest list.

     I felt like my freaking dreams had been smashed. Who would want such a birthday party? No child of mine. I couldn't get over the disappointment that Princess Particular didn't have the same vision as me.. and I had no idea how I was going to get out of orchestrating the least cohesive party I had ever seen. Then it hit me like lightening- Why the FACK couldn't she have her crazy party? I am such a monster. How many things do we remember from our childhood that just make us think, "Hey Mom, hey Dad... was it such a big freakin deal that I wanted to wear my pajamas to the grocery store? Was it really Earth shattering that I thought it was ok to run around the house screaming "POSTS EVERYONE!" and holding the lamps and knick knacks in place, pretending I was in Mary Poppins? (Editor's note- you rock if you know what I'm talking about). Way to stifle my creativity and ruin my life."
    Maybe this is a little dramatic, but really... who cares what kind of birthday party she has? Only her. I need to let go...and let Princess Particular rock her birthday the way she wants. I will probably save her thousands of dollars in therapy bills (although I'm sure she will have plenty to talk about anyway), and besides.... there's always Squeakers birthday.