Thursday, February 23, 2012

Tigers and Helicopters and Frenchies, oh MY...

     There are many categories of parents nowadays, and I find them all totally hysterical. As with everything else in life, there are no black and white answers, and no "good" or "bad" parents. Even some of the most terrible parents have good attributes, and some of the best parents can be total monsters at times. Eh hem.. for example, my morning routine of screaming like the Beast for my slow-as-molasses Princess Particular to get her (goddamn) shoes on a little faster because we will definitely be (effing) late once again probably gives me a mark in my shitty parent column. On the contrary, I did read that little lady not five but SEVEN books two nights ago before bed.

                                     But this IS Mommy telling you nicely...

       So here is my little cheat sheet for the super hip trendy styles of parenting in 2012. I feel like these should be seen as many other things in life, as a buffet, where you can pick and choose your own way to raise your little darlings.

 Tiger Moms- Beautiful, but deadly. 

         Pros:       These parents demand excellence in all areas, and place total importance on academic achievement, so their kids are guaranteed to be academic nerdy superstars.

        Cons:       They won't be cool nerds. Just nerdy nerds. Also, everyone needs to let their freak flag fly every once in a while- years and years of not letting kids act like kids seems to me like you are creating prime candidates for mental breakdowns. (Although who doesn't like a good mental breakdown every now and then?)    

    Helicopter Moms- Of course it's ok for me to live with  you at college, honey..

               Pros: You do need to be up in your kid's business in order to be a good parent. You need to motivate them, know who they are hanging out with, and don't be an idiot and leave your liquor cabinet unlocked. (And teach them that vodka doesn't freeze, so if they put water back in the bottle and the bottle in the freezer, they won't learn the hard way that it shouldn't be frozen solid)
              Cons: There comes a time in every mother's life where you have to push your little birdies out of the nest, and hope they don't end up in jail, a stripper, or worst of all, back in your nest after they decide they need to "find themselves" Unfortunately for the helicopter mommy, this time never comes. They are happy to ride on the coat tails of their young adult children, making sure that well into their twenties no one harms their "little baby".

               French Moms- Oui Oui, laissez faire, la la

   Pros: French children learn not to interrupt, realize that adult time isn't an imaginary concept, and learn to play by themselves.
   Cons: Lets face it, French people can be rather snotty, so let's not let them know that they have the upper hand in raising a child, ok?

The MomsArePeopleToo Method..... (Drumroll please)

and there you have it.


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